I gave myself permission

So where have I been?  I've been home.  I miss my Daddy.  I have a whole bunch of stuff that's not working right at my house and I have to figure out how to fix it.  It can get overwhelming, all of this broken stuff that I don't know how to fix.  Daddy would have fixed it for me, I would have taken him to Chilero's for carne asada tacos.  We liked that arrangement.  A lot. 

And I miss my Mom.  Mom loved Easter.  You remember the home made Easter candy - the peanut butter cups?  And the solid milk chocolate rabbits?  And those beautiful panorama sugar eggs?  Did Mom ever tell anyone why she loved Easter so much?  Easter makes me think of Mom.   

So I've been home.  Not posting anything, because I've been blue.  And not wanting to admit it.   I really don't want any sympathy for it - because it's my stuff, and I have to deal with it.  I really just want to stay in bed with the covers over my head, but I have to go to work.  They pay me and kinda expect me to show up. 

I've been avoiding blogger and facebook and talking to my sister.  Because she would hear in my voice that I'm not OK and I didn't want to burden her with my stuff.  But I talked to her this weekend.  And she gets it.  I miss her, too.  

Anyway.  I gave myself permission to be blue.  There aren't any comments allowed - I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, or offer suggestions, or tell me to pull my head out of my a$$.  I'll figure it out.  Giving myself permission has helped.  It's been acknowledged, that's better than hiding it.  I'll get over it.  And Mom and Dad will be proud - 'cause dang!  They've raised some intelligent, resourceful kids.